AskFannie: Analingus!
Welcome to the first installment of AskFannie! As toughstuff has already said, I'm your go to girl/boy/sissy/queer for all things sex, love, and everything in between. Just send your questions to askfannie@gmail.com and you may be featured in the column. Make sure you leave a pseudonym if you want to remain anonymous, and any identifications you'd like to pass along to increase accuracy. Without further ado, I give you, AskFannie pt. 1!
Dear Fannie,
I'm a 20-something gay white male. Something weird has been going down in my life: people are confiding in me left and right that they LOVE rimming. And they're all straight guys!
I've never tried it, but I was wondering, is it sanitary? Are there rules or guidelines for it? If I'm topping for anal, will I be expected to perform it? And my big question, is rimming the new oral??
Thanks,
Stumped in Sydney
So, Stumped, you are interested in exploring the wonderful world of rimming? Well you're in for a treat. Rimming, a.k.a. analingus, is increasing in popularity and quickly entering into the common boudoire repetoire. For those of you who don't know, rimming is when one licks on, in, or around the anus of one's partner. The first thing that should be said about rimming is that it holds a low-risk for HIV infection, but normal risk for other STIs like viral hepatitis. Ideally all rimmers should make use of a dental dam, but obviously not everyone will want to use a dental dam. I'm an advocate for safe-sex, but I will be the first to admit that every time that I have received a rimjob, I have not used a dental dam. It's a calculated risk you have to decide if you are willing to take.
When people ask me about rimming, their number one concern is fecal matter. While some people who like to give rimjobs enjoy some of the scat elements of residual fecal matter on the anus, it's not a blanket rule. It's considered polite to wash the region before any tongue-to-ass play, but ask your partner what is preferred. Contrary to popular belief, the anus and rectum have only trace amounts of fecal matter in them, so don't be afraid of accidentally getting a mouthful of choco-fun. If fecal matter is a significant issue for the giving partner, consider using a douche or enema to wash and empty the rectum of fecal matter. Rimming is a great activity for foreplay to insertive anal sex, as it helps lubricate the opening to the rectum and relax the muscles in the region.
My number one tip for any aspiring rimmers is: variation. While a constant lapping at the love chute is all fun and games, it can get a bit boring for the recipient. Try licking the anus, then around the anus, the perineum, etc. The best rimjob I ever received was when my partner licked quickly from my anus to my perineum and back again. The trail of saliva acts as a natural cooling agent when left exposed to the air, which can increase sensitivity to the region.
A word to the wise: try to avoid performing a rimjob and then directly afterward performing fellatio or cunnilingus as the digestive bacteria that may be found in and around the anus can cause urinary tract infections. Washing the area beforehand reduces those risks. So break out the soap!
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fannie
